Introduction Understand the EXACT process of Anxiety Panic Awarded 5 stars by UK Mental Health Foundation fear panic obsessive worry stress solution-doyoupanic.co.uk
Knowing 'how' to relax is vital in making progress with being stressed/anxious.
Firstly we need to look at why we get so on edge so frequently.
1. We may be sensitive/want things to be right/worry or self-doubt/we don't like pain
2. We can also have sudden external events like severe stress/trauma/loss which can suddenly spark anxious feelings
So back to the question...'how' do we relax when the above leave us feeling so frequently stressed and on edge?
Taking a look at how the mind works - and you will see this explained in greater detail if you want to delve further into this...'when' we feel negative/stressed, our mind's natural reaction to this is to cut-off from that stress - as a means of protecting us. We tend to have fast minds anyway and we are always going to have this issue to work on - even if those thoughts aren't always negative. Being intense can, indeed, be the main culprit, but so much good can also come from this character blend, hence my reason for not trying to 'dim' it with medication.
So, when we cut-off from intense feelings like stress, this also brings us to an awareness of what we've just 'been' thinking about and can be best described as a brief bolt of tension which makes us feel uncomfortable (the 'spike').
Because this isn't a nice feeling - what we do 'next' is crucial.
The typical resonse from our character type will be to overplay this feeling - to try too hard to rid ourselves of that discomfort.
This is typified by panic over-controlling/analysing that thought (MORD PTS 3+4 in my book).
Without over-complicating it here - suffice to say that the process I isolated was that we would try to force control of that discomfort at cut-off point by futher tensing the mind. This, however, just led to my over-analysing that pain/trying to hard to control it.
We 'do' need to calm down in life to deal with that intensity which causes our spiking - but we can 'only' do this in flow. As you will read - flow is automatic so as per the first page entitled 'Trust in YOU', this is very much about trusting our automatic momentary thinking state being enough to get us through life and better at it. We must let the answers come to us - we can't force them.
As such, the 'solution' to our anxiety is very much to avoid panic controlling as that is our reactive problem. Then we can work on those intense characteristics that cause us to spike...very much a chicken and egg situation (see also 'Past Tense Retrospection' CH 6). In the next few sections - you will see how we do that.