Introduction Understand the EXACT process of Anxiety Panic Awarded 5 stars by UK Mental Health Foundation fear panic obsessive worry stress solution-doyoupanic.co.uk
The reality over time is that I have developed my understanding of this condition or should I say 'reactive condition to very normal circumstances'. Those normal circumstances. of course, surround a sensitive, intense mindset where we can feel anxious or stressed for long periods, even days, if we are in a stressful/worrying situation.
However, what’s really important is that we don’t react to any of that momentary existence and this is where we have to get to grips with the abstention concept.
I also developed a very good parallel in understanding anxiety with Paul David who has gone on to help lots of people through his book and website www.anxietynomore .co.uk. Both of us are acutely aware of the realities of recovery and no matter what advice we can give, sufferers can be so bewildered and uncertain as to how they should deal with the problem that they can often go away and fall straight back into the trap of trying to 'do' something about their condition i.e. scouring the internet in desperation for that 'answer'.
Finding one magical buzz-word cure is NOT abstention
ie.. this could also be finding certain techniques like self-talk... saying ''relax'' as the 'answer' to feeling stressed.
11 Dec 2018...Hi Anna what I would suggest now is pure simplicity!! Ok maybe leave the
book for now as readers can get confused and as such I have decided to
re-write it to really hit home what 'not doing' is.
Try to cast all else aside now and go with this...
You AIM is to flow in life - this is a free-thinking state where you
simply don't interfere to STOP your mind in its' tracks. This is simply
our problem - we force ourselves to stop and analyse our thinking
because we feel a severe temptation to do so.
This is the 'not doing' strategy I advise and nothing else. If you feel
that temptation to grab hold of your thoughts - this will lead to all
that horrible issue making.
I refer to this on my website (which has now been re-written) ...so you
feel that ''oh no'' panic temptation when you maybe think about 'having
too much time on your hands' and THEN you force yourself to stall/stop
that thinking. Abstention is not doing that forced stopping - it is
easier to do because it takes more effort to stop your thoughts. You
will keep feeling temptations to force but don't enter into it - this is
the pure explanation of abstention.
I really appreciate your explanation. I definitely understand what you're saying. When a thought that scares me pops up, I get that horrible physical reaction. It's not necessarily panic but might be just a sinking feeling of dread. The feeling gives the impression that the thought is meaningful and must be solved. Did you have this feeling when you suffered? In the last couple days I have stopped and gotten into analyzing the thoughts, which does make it much worse. When you say don't stop your thoughts and just flow, how did you do this? Can you give me an example of how you personally did this with a bad thought you had? Believe it or not, last week I was able to do exactly what you say and I did feel better. This week I can't seem to stay out of analyzing and I feel anxious all the time, making problems where they don't exist. I seem to have lost the insight that i had. My poor husband is at wits end with me. I feel like I'm so much worse than anyone and somehow a "special" case. Anyway, thanks again for your advice. I am going to keep trying to just let my thoughts flow and not dive into them. I appreciate your advice more than you know....
So the reality is that we have to gain an understanding of the separate processes that take place that can make 'Ok' stress such a destructive condition.
If we were to imagine a big beanbag ...that you can sit on and in that beanbag are our momentary thoughts negative/positive ...and we then have an intense negative thought about something at work, or something we’ve done, or a mistake we make/a relationship doubts/or other worries
...when we cut-off or come out of those thoughts... we are then 'outside' of that bean bag of now 'bygone' negative momentary thoughts.
Imagine those previous thoughts as now separate and detached from us and in the past.
Back to that cut-off point, we have now 'become aware' of those negative thoughts (but now separate in that beanbag) and we feel in discomfort and thus severely tempted to 'do' something about it...as we don't like that feeling
...it is at this point that we can then 'force' oursleves to stop and analyse our thinking...or avoid 'doing' that.
Not doing is abstaining. from forcing ourselves back into that beanbag.
........So recovery/abstention is typified by resisting that temptation to force oursleves back in the beanbag to head-talk analyse those now bygone negative thoughts
If we avoid over-interference we will stay in natural flow and get 'through' our stresses, regardless of how strong the temptation to react.
If you look at my Method of Recovery Diagram, you will see I call this 'dive back' as the panic 'scramble' (Mord pt.3)
- if we allow ourselves to stay in flow we WILL get through those anxious periods, no matter how stressful/depressing - we just mustn't make issue of them when they happen.
Letting go is about allowing life to happen good, bad and downright ugly and we have to keep flowing through all of it. Even when we get positive thoughts in that momentary flow, we again don't have to hold into these, as they can then become unnecessary coping behaviours - i.e. Anorexia example (Ch 6) and MORD Pt4 in book.